Fever

A very unattractive picture of me needs to be painted. Blurred, bloody, and drenched in sweat. There were nights in which my long dark hair wrapped around my body from thrashing nightmares. The nightmares were a battlefield.
Every prophetic dream seemed to be chased by a dream that stole my nights and robbed me of energy. Twisted up sheets became my enemy. Kicking and pushing the cotton animal I could not snap "awake". In fact I knew that I should not awaken.
If one piece of my personal journey were to be altered in any way what would happen? In the past I have had "bad dreams" or nightmares. This was VERY different. Something very spiritual was happening. Black and white. Good and evil.
Not only was I having these dreams but I was losing to them. Fevers that circled my body and a sickness that is indescribable took over my body like an alien. Filled with fire and wicked dreams I fought. Days passed and my eyes blurred. I fought.
Internally I became a soldier, not just a soldier but an entire army. Something larger than life was happening. Illness coated in black and red dreams was sufficating my life and stealing my creative thoughts. NO! During this time I became closed off from the outside world, only to stay in one room, in one bed.
All of the colors were fading, the white walls around me were closing in, and the one window glaring at me now seemed like a cheap oil painting. Music was raging through my veins. Isolated to this ugly battle I found courage.
This courage was hidden deep inside of my aching heart. It was a small light. At the end of a battle when darkness settles deep and singed burning flesh is all that you inhale you see a light. This light is so distant and far, but familiar.
As you walk closer the light grows. You see the face of the one holding the light. It is a good friend that never leaves. Inside of the light the music swims into the deep night. A new music. Music that is not music at all, but more of an extension of this friend.
Peace follows. The nightmares ended carrying off the fevers. I crept into the light of the real world with a new suit of armor and an internal sword of protection. Ready for me world?!? Bring it!


Circle of light:
1. a ceiling hook

2. rounded bird feeder

3. tea light

Mount the hook, hang the feeder, light the candle-
love your sweet new light!